Worried life is passing you by? It starts with a choice.

January 6

Worried life is passing you by? It starts with a choice.

This was a quote shared by one of my community members Gwen Martin, very recently.This has got to be one of the most powerful quotes I have read, and many people reacted out when I shared it on social media. 

Read it over and over again

Imagine waking up one day and you’re 60, 70 or 80 and realizing that you never went swimming with your friends on warm summer nights because your thighs jiggled, or you didn’t write the book or create the art because you were strung up on the idea of perfectionism or you didn’t get the chance to find out what sets your heart on fire because you were too busy chasing other people’s dreams instead of your own. Imagine waking up one day and realizing that you forgot to live a life of silliness and creativity and passion and purpose and adventure because you were doing the things you thought you needed to do and not the things you wanted to do. Imagine waking up one day and realizing that you’d never truly lived. Please don’t be this person. Please don’t let this happen. You’ll break your own damn heart…

Alysha Waghorn

Reading this quote can feel like a slap in the face.

Like many powerful quotes, they create an emotion. It could give you that ‘fire in your belly’ feeling or feeling of sadness and regret.

This exercise might feel difficult but just find a quiet space and ask yourself these two questions:

  • Am I living my life in alignment with my values and purpose?
  • If you had no idea whether you would be alive tomorrow, would you be happy with the way you lived it?

If you answered yes to both, excellent!

If you answered no to one or both, read more below.

For change to occur, it starts with understanding what you want.

Answered, no? You must ask yourself whether you want to do anything about it.

However, when you answered no, did any of these thoughts come to mind?

  • ‘I have tried to change my life over and over and nothing changes’.
  • ‘I am too old and have no chance of changing now’.
  • ‘Change is too difficult and requires too much effort’.
  • ‘I do not know what I want in my life’.

These are normal thoughts to have.

It is important to make two distinct differences.

There is a difference between choosing not to change and finding change difficult.

You cannot move forward if you do not want to change. You can change if you want to change.

  • What if you have been living your life following the inner critic (without realising this voice is not you and you can develop the skills to manage it)?
  • What if what you have tried previously was making change more difficult?
  • What if I told you that neuroscience and countless researchers that demonstrated repeatedly that change is possible, regardless of age?
  • What if you had the right questions and toolbox to find what you want in life?

Yes, change can be hard. But it can be made easier with the right support and structure.

Change starts by realising that you have a choice in life.

A choice that you do not need to continue living your life as a prisoner to the rules of your feeling, thoughts, and emotions.

A choice that you do not need to continue living your life by what people say or what you think other people are thinking.

James Cooley famously said:

I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am

It might sound obvious, but it is a total shift in mindset and belief about how you view yourself.

It is a belief that you are not what you think and feel. It is a belief that what you think, and feel is a construct from the brain and mind, outside of your control.

You are instead the observer of the mind and you have a choice to choose how you respond to the thoughts from the mind and any external situation that happens.

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Victor Frankl. 

Believe this and you will never look back with any regrets.

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